June/July 2009 Page # 1 News Article
We had so many e-mail about the socializing topic we decided to leave it up for one more month
Dear: Friends & Neighbors
One of the things that I never hear anyone talk about is socializing skills for the youth of today. Being a community activist since the 1970's has given me a vast insiders knowledge of dealing with people in general. During the 1970's as I was promoting small and large indoor and outdoor cultural entertainment special events, weekend parties and business networking with a huge amount of people. It occurred to me that no one ever offered me a socializing course in school. At first I was really shy, it took me a long time to professionally learn how to address people in the proper way without offending them. Their is a correct way and their is an incorrect way of socializing with people to obtain what you want. I do not know everything only what my life experiences have taught me and remember life is nothing more but a learning experience in its entirety until the day you die. I believe one of the main reasons why their are so many underlining social problems today is that no one I ever knew, that lived within the ghetto ever had an educational socializing course. I have never heard any NYC Board of Education, Church Preacher, TV News Program or any other Political Official say that I think the time has come where we need some socializing educational courses within our NYC Board of Education School System to educate the youth so they will not think that wearing skulls on their shirts the sign of death is Kool and. By learning how to communicate with each other I feel alot of the misstated words and common street corner shootings in the hood might even decrease.
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I think its time for us to realize that it would be a better world if most of our youth had some communicating and socializing educational courses. I feel it would prevent alot of negative unspoken issues that rear their head mainly from one person disrespecting another person and not knowing how to put them selves in reverse when they realize they said something wrong and are too proud to say I'am " SORRY " ! It is clear to see that if you ask anyone on the street how did they learn to socialize with other people they would tell you, I don't know I just picked it up, its not something that your Mother or Father would teach you, its not something that your aunt, uncle, brother or sister would sit down and teach you either.
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I know when a fight is about to happen just by the way someone would talk or answer another person or should I say disrespect the other person. Example Sam would say to William in front of a crowd of say 4 - 5 people ......
Sam: Yo William that was stupid what you did
This is bad because William now has to defend his honor or look and feel belittled.
WILLIAM IS NOW PUT ON STAGE AND HAS TO PERFORM
William Now Says: I'am not stupid fool, don't ever call me stupid again
Sam: Now feels he too has to defend his honor and the race to the top of the staircase for honor is on.
The two of them now each defending their honor from being disrespected while increasing their emotional anger as it rises to the occasion. They keep on climbing the steps higher and higher with heated emotional anger and before you know it, they are fist fighting at the top of the staircase trying to kill each other !
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The correct way to have addressed this issue would have been to first stay calm. Many people make the mistake of injecting raw emotions into sane logical decisions. Emotions have no place and should not be used when making logical sound decisions and it is the main reason why so many people wine up fighting and shooting each other, all because they let their emotions do the talking for them when they should have stayed calm and stayed one step ahead of the other person by out thinking them to deflate the situation. Sometimes depending upon the case even trying to talk or out think the other person will not allow you to avert a fist fight and you now have no choice but to perform in the octagon arena of ultimate fighters pop locking and a rocking, dancing with swinging fists just to keep your self from eating ground dirt, due to protecting your honor.
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I live across the street from a NYC Board of Education Junior High School. Ever since they built the school in 1964 their was two fist fights after school and every three out of five days and sometimes more their are after school 3 P.M slam'em up fist fights all because people do not know how to get along or talk to one another. Their are many things that lead up to stupid things that cause ongoing problems and slam'em up fist fights. You can hear the ring announcer in your head saying at 3 P.M before the kids get out of school saying ?
GET READY TO RUM-BLE eeeeee " DING, DING, DING The youths now use the street as a boxing/wrestling rink, YOU SO AND SO " BOOM BAM, BAM, BOOM " DING, DING, DING " AND IN THIS CORNER, THE WINNER BY A KNOCK OUT-ttttt "
SU-prrrrrrrrrrrr " STUPID "
" HA, RAY-yyyyy " !
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In 1993 I went to work for the Police Athletic League {PAL} I wrote the main business proposal that brought The { PAL's Summer Play Street Program " PALSPSP " } into Cypress Hills Projects Euclid Avenue Park Located within East New York Brooklyn New York on Euclid Avenue right by Blake Ave [ The Program Has Returned Each Year I'am Happy To Say Each and Every Summer To The Park Since 1993 }. When we arrived at the PAL headquarter office introduction ceremony, they gave every new worker a book about their athletic and recreational program so you would know ahead of time what to expect from PAL administration and what they would expect from you. It was the first time in my life that I had actually seen anyone address a social communication issue and I was really impressed. I already knew what they had within their management book since I was about nine year's old no one needed to tell me how to conduct myself I thought it was a little later but better late than never for everyone else. Their within the PAL book was a clear cut method spelled out in words about how to talk and communicate with the youth you would be managing on a daily basics. The information that I read that day I already knew and had already learned from year's of being involved within an working for summer youth camps and volunteering within after school programs, The Boy Scouts, attending The YMCA other Bed -Sty Brooklyn Day Parade, Community and Church Special Events that increased my socializing skills. I went from being a timid introverted person to becoming more like a politician running for political office. As my skills increased I networked with everyone within the program and was especially careful to say hello to and not offend anyone or step on their toes at the same time. Socializing is definitely an art form similar to doing a soft sole ballet and hard core table top tap dance networking your way up the steps of progress towards success on the stage of life,
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Networking is a process of giving and taking, blending in and also knowing when to speak your mind to make a statement you believe in but most of all staying calm is everything because getting emotional, gets you no where and again emotions have nothing to do with making common sense logical decisions.
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Example: If you are driving a car on a mountain road and it is about to go off the cliff could you stay calm enough to maneuver the car back into a safe place on the road ? Or are you the type of person that would panic throw your hands in the air, lose control, scream and go off the cliff without even trying to stay calm and rescue your self ? No dought one day all of us will die, most want to be on the train to heaven but no one is lining up at the Penn Station Train Ticket window to buy their ticket to heaven ahead of time just to save a few dollars on a discounted glory express train ticket year's, month's or even day's ahead of time because ? Most people believe they will never die, hate to think of it, refuse to even entertain the taught and some even refuse to buy life insurance ahead of time to make sure their families are well taken care of when they leave and enter the here after in the next dimension.
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Socializing skills is one of the main reasons I believe their are so many disagreements in life, street fights after school and mistrustful problems arising throughout the world because many people cannot admit they were wrong or even say they are sorry. Funny how the cycle of street and school fist fights come from a lack of understanding and socializing skills strange, no one seams to have noticed it but me. I'am quite sure their are others around the world who passed it through their minds but are too scared to to take a public stance with it or do anything with the knowledge they just acquired from reading this news column. Strange how NYC Mayor Bloomberg wants to be the Almighty God over Governing The NYC Board of Education Schools and I know for a fact that it takes a conglomeration of people on a school board to institute positive change absolutely. No one has all of the answers towards changing our NYC School System or changing society in general but socializing is definitely an issue that needs to be talked about more to bring our youth into line with the times they are now passing through.
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I use to attend local ENY and Brownsville Community School Board Meetings back during the 1990's and believe me no one man or woman had all of the answers or ideas needed to individually change our NYC School System, this type of thinking is called
" TUNNEL VISION " !
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Tunnel vision is when you are so focused upon an issue or problem that the focuser, forgets entirely about the surrounding area which are the deciding factors that surround and corral the tunnel vision area. The surrounding corral is also revolving around the dream in the vision and both are in motion at the same time and can affect the outcome of the corralled idea/s or dream/s that you envisioned and are solely focused upon. Let me explain it another way that you can better understand. If you have a tunnel like The Holland Tunnel that travels underneath the water from New York to New Jersey under The Hudson River inside from NYC. If you had a dream placed it within the Holland Tunnel and paid no attention to the foundations walls and did not perform the necessary pressure tests by architects to see if the tunnel walls could hold back the water pressure, what do you think would happen if you were only focused upon the dream inside of the tunnel without the architects?
Yes it would collapsed around you when built, so see this is where other peoples input comes into play like the architects performing the pressure tests on the tunnel. If you do get tunnel vision other people on the board could let you know ahead of time what you are doing or thinking ? Will not work thanks to their additional input and vigilance of surveying the outter limits of your tunnel vision before stepping out into a dream world.
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I have never heard Mayor Bloomberg who is a very rich, smart and powerful man say anything about instituting a socializing course within The NYC Bd of Ed System. Instead he chooses to do all of the thinking for people that live within the so called ghetto and he lives on the west side of Manhattan where rich people live and has no former experience of being a poor person living within a African or Hispanic urban city ghetto area. No one that has never lived within an urban ghetto area who only hears about the complex problems and who has never lived them on a day to day basics. Should be allowed to tell urban city dwellers what they need in their school classrooms unless, they have lived within an urban city ghetto them selves. It makes no common sense at all to me to talk about urban dwelling problems without realizing that most of the ballooning social issues stem from a lack of socializing and educational skills on a number of levels. Every once in a while even very rich, smart and powerful men that normally make sense, do something that buries them self and they cannot get themselves out of. I never heard Mayor Bloomberg say anything about starting a six month socializing program that every NYC school student should take to alleviate the ballooning youth problem we face on a daily basics.
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I feel it is mandatory for every school student to have a class in socializing skills to eradicate disfunctionality Due to gangster rap being played on The radio and on TV many of the values that made our community great are slowly being forgotten and now cast a transparent vail of unsure inconsistencies over our community that diverts credibility, dignity and respect for our selves.
So the next time you talk to a friend ask them about what you read here and tell them that you heard it first ? From The WEbMAster as you read his monthly
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